We all think that we spend our first 18 years growing up, but the truth is the real growing up comes in the years after that.
Sure, we learned quite a bit from our guardians and teachers, but what did we really learn of use to ourselves? Most of us hit adulthood face flat. Our issues range from being lousy with money to finding some crappy ex-lovers. What a nightmare. So while we’re trying to figure out this shit show of a life we seem to have going we’re also supposed to know EXACTLY who we are.
Most older young adults (I’m talking older 20s here) will tell you that they are nothing like the person they were when they were 18. Shoot, we have just spent 10 years trying out our identities on the real world in an effort to figure out who we really are. It’s not fun. It’s not like high school where if you put on a little black lipstick you can be goth for a day. No. It’s far more complicated that that:
You need to decide who you’re going to be for the rest of your life. When you walk into a room are you going to be the fun and outrageous person that everybody likes (and what means do you use to get that to happen)? Are you going to be the hardest working person in the room? What compromises are you making to be the person that you want to be?
For example, I am a nut when it comes to my career and school. I do take pride on being your no- bullshit worker too. I do what I’m supposed to, plus more. I take the risks I need to in order to advance my career. Perhaps I can be a little annoying and a little abrasive when other coworkers just want to goof off. That’s fine, I can goof off, but I’m not going to let that goofball image stick to me. Trust me guys, images do stick. So I’ve had to make some choices of what I can and cannot have in my life.
I used to be a fantastic artist. No, really, my art could blow your mind. However, I spend my time focused on my school work and commuting to my job now. On my weekends I have such limited time that I elect to spend that time with my boyfriend. Please also note that I don’t have much time for close friends either. It’s not enjoyable right now. Am I always going to be a work-a-holic? Probably. I’d love to be able to tell you that once I own my own EMPIRE that the workload will lighten up, but the truth is that some chains come with that !!EMPIRE!! and they go right around my ankles.
Don’t get me wrong though, I have money to spend on my bills. I’m a stinkin’ adult now! I also have weird old lady wisdom that I’ve picked up through my hard work. I also have the ability to be financially secure, have my own house and degree. However, I got a late start because of my early adulthood. So if you’re feeling that you got your nose rubbed in some shit, so did I, but it’s not the end of your story. Don’t even let your mistake define who you are.
If my mistakes defined who I am today I’d still be in an abusive relationship with a man who’d take the tips from my cheap waitressing job for his alcohol. I’d probably have a few babies who I can barely keep clean and fed. I’d likely be trying to tell the whole world how perfect my life is, but I’d have alienated all my loved ones and friends. Going back to school would be a dream, but nothing I’d have the ability to do.
During all my bullshit, I decided one day to knock it off. TO CUT THE SHIT. It’s not my parent’s fault for not warning me about bad people. They have, they did and they always will. It wasn’t even the man who abused me’s fault. I had free will and could leave. I allowed the dude to get so far into my puny brain that I couldn’t see another option. I couldn’t blame anyone else. The day I realized that was the day it was SO DAMN EASY to walk away and get back to college. (Granted, I’d make many more mistakes along the way…but…you know…)
Life’s growing up process happens while you’re a young adult. Remember to stay in control of what you can and hold yourself accountable for the stuff that happens in your life.
I’m sending you guys lots of love today,
Stacia
On Our Own Plan 